Syria, Syria,Syria…enough. Here is some very entertaining albeit disgusting news that is bound to either make you smile or retch.
BOULDER, Colo. (AP) — A Colorado man who hid in the tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival to spy on women has been sentenced to three years in prison and 10 years of probation.
Luke Chrisco’s sentence was handed down Friday in Boulder. The 31-year-old pleaded guilty in July to attempted unlawful sexual contact and two burglary counts.
Police arrested Chrisco in 2011 after a woman at a yoga festival in Boulder noticed something moving in the tank of the portable toilet, then saw a feces-stained man emerge and run away. Police say he also was suspected of hiding in other bathrooms around Boulder to watch women use the toilet.(Excerpted from USA Today)
My take on the situation? WTF this guy is seriously fucked in the head. When I grew up many towns had the commensurate”flasher” you know…the weirdo that would drop his pants and expose his junk to women as they walked by. But this dude pegs the tachometer way way past the redline for being creepy and disturbed. I mean seriously how disjointed and convoluted is your thought process to even think of such an idea. Let me script it out for you:
Weirdo: (Thinking to himself) Wow there is a yoga festival in town this weekend. I bet there will be hot chicks there.
Weirdo: (continues his convoluted thought process) I’d love to watch them as they take a pee.
Weirdo: (the synapses of his deviant brain begin to fire) Can I hide behind a tree? No that’s not close enough. Can I hide on top of the porta john? No everyone will see me there.
Weirdo: (scratches his head) Can I hide inside of the porta john? No that won’t work there’s no room.
Weirdo: (his ill mind finally balances the equation and BINGO) I’ll squeeze myself down into the waste tank and hide down there, it will offer the best view! Eureka!
I know everyone reading this at one time or another has used a porta john, they aren’t the cleanest things on earth. In fact they are foul smelling rancid storage receptacles for hundreds of gallons of festering fermenting human piss and shit… The odd thing about porta johns though is you never actually smell the piss and shit. You always smell that curious sweet chemical odor. I ask you what kind of chemical is capable of masking the odor of a bathtub full of foul smelling human excrement? In any case this lunatic is so disturbed that he figured out a way to squirm his way into the storage tank. I wonder if he went feet first? If so he probably had a hand on either side of the toilet lid and slowly eased himself into that disgusting cauldron of bizarre chemicals and E coli. Or did he go in head first and have to perform some Houdini like contortions once inside the tank to get his head above “water” so to speak.
Well the next time you go to relieve yourself in a porta john it may behove you to take a peek into the waste storage tank to see if a pair of eyes is staring back at you. If so just close the lid and use a different porta john.